Thursday, May 13, 2010

GNoM Housekeeping -- helpful illustrations

Sometimes a woman gets down about her housekeeping. She looks around at the rooms she's tried so hard to keep organized, and sighs. "I just cleaned it, and it's all messy again!" she wails. Well, ladies, as a public service, I offer you Guilt No More Housekeeping over here at Castle Bessy.

Here is what my daughters' bedroom looks like.
Don't you feel better? Is there any room in your house that looks even half as atrocious as this? Come on. You know this photo makes you feel better.

Superguy, in a yet further attempt to help the girls organize their heaps, put up useful shelves. The girls crammed everything on there. And still it looks like it does. (By the way, I was the one who stacked the books upright like that. Had I not done so, those books would be under the laundry on the floor.)
Yes, this is our 18-month-old Honeybee. She's brushing her teeth. In bed. Note that this is actually a bunk bed, with two singles shoved in sideways on the bottom. This is how we fit four girls in a 10 x 12 room.
Lest you think that the girls are at all unusual in the family, here's Truckster's dresser.


We're here for you. We want you to know, here at Guilt No More Housekeeping, that whatever you're doing, it's way better than what we're doing.

Now go look at your reasonably clean bedrooms and pour yourself a cup of hot tea. Messy Bessy has to go sleep for about 35 hours to get over the shame of all this chaos.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Crap Chairs -- Black Hole

This is where you end up, when you begin to collect crap chairs:If this chair were a sickness, it would be psoriasis.

If this chair were architecture, it would be Communist Block High Rise.

If this chair were food, it would be Vegemite.

It now resides in our living room and has already garnished two (2) apparently sincere compliments. If only I could tap into that mindset, the one which appreciates this type of furniture: the 60's wayside motel kind. People might just have been kind so they didn't have to say their real feelings, however.

Updates on Casper

You may have been wondering about Casper, our invisible Bassett hound. What does he look like when he's not invisible? Well, he's just your regular Bassett hound, and has a droopy sweet face. Fifi illustrates:Isn't this cute? Casper and Bootsie, curled up together. They're best friends! Amazingly, Casper jumped right up there, onto Buster's top bunk. He's got skills.
But this is even cuter, isn't it? Here's Truckster, snuggling with Casper under the blankets. You'd think he might mind the bad breath. But Casper seems not to mind anything!
Casper is also a very intelligent dog. He uses Truckster's electronics set. Look at that. He's completing a circuit! Arrf!

Perhaps someday Casper can show us how to get grass to grow in the mud yard outside.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Guilt No More Saturday!

You can see that we are busy, busy people here in the Land of Origin, where the skies are deep blue, the soil is always rich, and the yard is always a mud pit from Hades. Below, view the latest home improvement that Superguy has been working on: enclosing what had been the weedy, rocky, littered, rutted ruins of a garage apron. We hope that having this enclosed will give us a few more feet for our Mud Reclamation Project.Saturday is when the hearts of all women turn toward baking. At least, in this house. And so, Sweetums and Kewpie are at work making two loaves of healthy, yummy banana bread. These are currently perfuming the household while they bake.
Meanwhile, you may wonder, is Thrifty Frugal Cheap-Like-Scrooge Messy Bessy doing anything to help her family eat well, and if so, does it only involve the grocery store? Mais non, my little friends. Here you can see that we have transplanted the seedlings that began life under the grow lights in the basement. These are pumpkins.
Disregard the weeds. (This is a GNoM garden anyway. We've got weeds.) Instead, focus on the tulips, which predate us in this location! They come up year after year, to gladden the heart of Messy Bessy as she stands gazing out the spattered window at the Guilt No More sink, washing a mountainous pile of nasty pots and pans.

Also, note the two rhubarb plants. An older lady who lives down the block had a massive number of the plants and knew that I love rhubarb, and so she gave me a couple. She wanted me to take more, but frankly, I don't have any more room! And I myself, with my trusty shovel, went over there and just dug these babies out of her dirt and inserted them in mine! And they grew! It's like a miracle!
Anyway, I ended up running out of steam, and furthermore, there is always laundry, like my evil familiar (instead of a black cat, I have a basket of filthy socks). So Fifi went out and showed how much her paternal grandmother's talents have found a home in her: she planted our pea shoots and strung twine for them to climb, she planted nastertiums and tried to revive our sorry little tomato seedlings. Wow. The yard looks great!
Saturdays are so happy when there's sun and a lot of kids to just work. At the end of the day, we're going to have a clean yard, banana bread, and a semi-planted garden.

And my input? Moral support!!!!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Feeling down -- let's have photos!

Isn't this a lovely photo? This is a quite common sight in the house. People eating and reading all at once. We have such nice light in the morning.This was one of the Bataan Death March of photos on Easter morning. Truckster just could not resist the temptation to make faces, and Fifi has her maternal grandmother's trick of always having her eyes closed (or almost closed) for any photo. Here is a pretty good one. Check out Buster's tie -- it's not a clip-on!
Easter eggs drying.
The choristers getting ready to go praise God with their voices. And boy, was Our Lady of Many Large Families packed! It looked like a Chevy Express convention in the parking lot. (As a side note, from where I was standing, this appeared to be the Easter of Women in Tight White Dress Slacks. There were three just in my view. Why was I not alerted? I just wore a beige sweater skirt. Hopelessly unfashionable. Of course, Tight White Dress Slacks would look ridiculous on my pregnancy-mashed figure. But it would have been nice to have gotten the memo!)

Happy Easter to the Family of Origin Diaspora!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Guilt No More laundry -- Lenten edition

This is not a joke.The ironing board stack.


Go away for the weekend, avoid menial work on the Lord's Day, and this is what you get!
Happy Holy Week. If you want to find me, I'll be praying in the basement.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Crap chairs, part 3 -- oh yeah, baby

If this chair were a car, it would be our old Vanagon: faint traces of style, underneath layers and layers of misery.This is one of the few pieces of furniture -- oh, OK, the only piece -- that I ever refinished myself. It used to be standard 70's brown, and I updated it! It had a fuzzy pink seat, which used to look halfway nice when it was owned by my long-suffering parents. What you see here is blue vinyl (cheap!) and black spray paint. It never looked VERY nice, but at this point, we're just hoping that the arson fairy visits soon and takes JUST THIS CHAIR. Even the smoldering heap of blackened sticks will be preferable to what this is now. And Sweetums can sit on a pile of phone books, since we get a new stack of them every three weeks here in the City Where Nothing is Allowed.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Crap chairs, part 2

If this chair were music, it would be the Beatles last album -- the one they would have released when they were eighty-five.This excrescence used to be a plain old beige recliner. We found it (on the boulevard) when it had already had a long full life in front of someone's TV. But soon after, this crap chair had a major disabling life event: it died. The arms are almost off, and the recliner part falls off when you sit down. Not to mention that it was no color to begin with and is now a dirty no-color.

We'd put it back on the boulevard but we are too embarrassed, because the boulevard we found it on is our next-door-neighbor's. We can't bear to see them smirk when they find it no longer usable, on our boulevard.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Crap Chairs, part 1

If this chair were in Grandpa's house, he would call it the "magic chair," because magic duct tape is the only thing holding it together. Also because some kind of curse must have been placed upon us such that we have had this chair for so long. Has it been a year and a day? Where is the prince to come and kiss this odious toad?

Well, tonight a princess did the deed for us, albeit not with a kiss but with her backside. She sat in it. How dare she? And it broke. The seat broke right off. I guess the spell on the duct tape had been finally broken.

We will not be posting the picture of this nasty thing broken. Just imagine it, though. We'll be throwing it in the river where it belongs very very soon.

Stay tuned for more Crap Chairs. This series is conceived and photographed, and co-written, by Buster, the guy with an eye for chairs.

Friday, March 5, 2010

What isn't working around here -- and what is

Here is an area of our Guilt No More castle that the scullery maid (me) insists does not work. There are too many things going on: lined up items to be put in the recycling bags (which are nestled behind the right door), aprons hung over brackets since I am too sissy to learn how to use a drill properly, the paper-recycling brown bag, the garbage, and the totally necessary but incredibly irritating laundry hamper. Not to mention, the yard stick! Never tell me we don't utilize our shelf brackets! Oh yeah, and look at the empty milk jug. We have so many of these I begin to feel they are sort of like pets.

How would we make this better? It is ridiculously easy, once I take the time to think about it. But the only way I can bear to think about it -- and this corner of our kitchen has annoyed me seriously for years!!! -- is to blog about it. Pathetic, yet true.

As I was saying, it wouldn't be hard to make this an easier corner to live with. First, put the recycling under the sink, rather than in the back hall. Next, install a hook for the aprons (which since this photo was taken has actually happened). Next, remove the laundry hamper and find another place for it. Maybe the back hall! Never tell me we don't utilize our back hall! It's a Mud Room. And by mud, I mean mud.
Now, having glutted ourselves in our filthy disorganization, let us turn our little eyes happily to a place in the house that is currently working, and which is now so nice I had to take a photo from every angle: The Red Room. And by red I do mean red.

As you stand in the doorway this is what you see to the right. A desk with enough space. Bookshelves properly filled.
And here, below, you see almost straight ahead. Note the little window seat that my dear Superguy made since he knows I've always wanted one. Of course, it's too narrow to accommodate my motherly self, but see the last photo of this post for its ultimate use. And note also here, more bookshelves, the pretty rocker that doesn't fit anywhere else, and the sole closet on the main floor, which houses the vacuum! The vacuum misses the back hall, but I don't care. It has to stay here, forever and ever.
And here is what you would see if you stepped in and pivoted to the left. Look! More shelves! And the homeschool dresser, another desk which a child could sit at (and they do!), and a white board which has subsequently been consigned to the Dumpster because someone wrote on it with a Sharpie instead of the approved marker. Never tell me we don't use our Dumpster.
Oh. My. Heavens! Look at the window seat. It is fulfilling its very raison d'etre -- little girl cousins, dressed as princesses, reading. In the sunlight. In a room that works.
It fills me with glee.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

February snow day

Sometimes you have to spend a day remembering that there's some color in the world other than white.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Winter vacation

This is the familiar scene in this household when the weather is cold -- some combination of kids, a blanket, and a stack of books. We love this sight.


Although it has technically been a school vacation, the reading, writing and learning haven't stopped. Truckster even got out the math workbook and did a bunch. A houseful of books for a houseful of kids. Our cup overflows.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A Great Day

While dear messybessy makes productive and wise New Year's resolutions, I have to admit, my resolution for 2010 is... to have more days like today.

My excellent day actually starts yesterday, when baby had her neurology visit. She had to have an EEG, which is no fun because they have to stick like 25 leads to your head, and you can't even touch the pretty, colorful wires to which they attach, but Baby, true to form, behaved like a complete champ. She hardly fussed at all, and even fell asleep while they were monitoring her, which is exactly what they want. And then, best of all, when we saw the RN she said the the EEG looked great and that we can finally start (SLOWLY) weaning her off of her medicine!! Thanks be to God and thanks to everyone who prayed for our Little Bell!!

So, with news like that yesterday, today has to be good. And, sure enough, today we rose (if slightly earlier than this mama wanted) to a cold but beautiful, clear Florida day. Mama and baby were able to see Daddy off to work, and then had a quiet start to the day. Mama was productive enough to make an egg for breakfast, as well as the usual toast, and then baby played while mama read her interesting book ("Mr. Langshaw's Square Piano" by Madeline Goold, thanks to dad for that one). Halfway through the morning baby went down for a good nap. This nap actually allowed mama to take a bath to clean up (amazing!) as well as start the dishwasher. Baby awoke from her nap in a pleasant mood, and mama and baby just finished a delicious lunch (really - see next post for details) together. This afternoon, by now about 50 degrees outside, we will set out for a walk to our local library. Tonight there is a wives' get-together at the coffee shop near our house, and sweet daddy has agreed to watch baby while mama goes out, saying, "We'll get some junk food, crack open a soda or two, and wrestle or play with dolls or something fun. My only stipulation about this evening is that you have fun and don't worry about me and baby." Daddy is simply the best, isn't he?

Oh, and did I mention that I have chocolate brownies, fudge, AND chocolate bars in the house?

Ahh, 2010, you are shaping up to be an excellent year.



Saturday, January 9, 2010

Guilt No More Resolutions

It's the new year, the beginning of a new decade. Time for resolutions.

1. Write resolutions on January 9. It is way, way too hard to get to it on January 1, when your house looks like a bomb exploded in the living room and the cousins slept over, such that you know you will be dealing with emotional overload in your own kids along about 2 p.m.

2. This is the year I am REALLY going to make sure that all the pots and pans are washed before I go to bed. No more breakfast prep whilst dodging slimy, soaking pasta pans. No more dragging bathrobe sleeves through last night's paprikash. It's a new year!

3. I resolve to get rid of a bunch of stuff. Considering how stuffed to the gills this house is, there has to be some stuff stuffed away somewhere that I can stuff in the dumpster.

4. This year I will be more vigilant about making the boys clip their fingernails regularly. Nail care has never been my strong suit, but when the ten-year-old begins to look like a vampire from the wrist down, it becomes apparent that something must be done. And I'm the woman to do it. I think.

5. This is the year that I get serious about making bread. The stuff that you get at the store is so nasty it almost begs to be made into craft glue. However, this is a GNoM resolution and thus null and void where any or all of the following pertain: pregnancy; long spates of upper respiratory infections; laundry buildup; discovery of new interesting novelists; general malaise.

6. 2010 is when I work out a system for keeping the yard tidy. Not that it will involve much labor on my part, mind you. I plan to watch the child slaves through the window whilst I munch my homemade bread and read interesting new novels.

7. Keep Superguy from taking over the desk! It is currently almost clean. He will fill it to overflowing with his own quirky method of filing stuff. No marriage should be made to endure sharing a desk. A bit vague on how to accomplish this.

8. An anti-resolution. This is not the year to get all concerned about dusting.

9. There ought to be a couple of resolutions about my treatment of those around me, but since this is the GNoM list, and therefore wry and snide ("wride"?) , I'll just say that real resolutions would include being more kind, turning off the radio so that the children and husband can have my undivided attention, saying yes to easy requests, praying absolutely without fail every morning, Rosaries, etc.

10. It seems to me that many younger moms could benefit from seeing the true Guilt No More lifestyle. This is the year to post more photos.